New England
Massachusetts Journal
Waltham U.F.O. Shocker! Alien
Works at Local Gas Station
The National Archives
'Ronaldo', the alien now working as a cashier at
the George Michael's gas station in Waltham MA. See:
By DAVID
VIRGIL HOBBS
Published: April 28,
2009
WALTHAM ---He disguises himself by rotating his eyes
so that they do not slant downwards when he is working as cashier at George
Michael's Gulf Station on Main Street in Waltham; but 'Ronaldo' is actually a
space alien of the 'Greys' race.
According to NASA investigators, 'Ronaldo' has a habit
of telling lies and then later admitting that he was lying, as if the telling of
the lie was a joke. The investigators hypthosize that this is his modus operandi
for going un-detected in human society.
However, the NASA investigators have this far been
unable to take 'Ronaldo' into custody due to orders from President
Obama.
"Ronaldo looks like a Puerto Rican", said President
Obama. "I like Puerto-ricans because 93% of them voted for me. I will not allow
the NASA investigators to take Ronaldo into custody. I believe that the 'don't
ask don't tell' policy we have in the military regarding gays, should be applied
to Ronaldo. Nobody should ask him if he is actually an alien, and if people ask
him if he is an alien, he should not answer them".
Ronaldo's employer George Michael, has been informed
by the President's representatives, that if he fires Ronaldo because Ronaldo is
an alien, he will be sued for discrimination on the basis of race and national
origin.
"It is illegal to discriminate against persons based
on where they were born", said President Obama. "Therefore, if George Michael
fires Ronaldo because Ronaldo is an alien, George Michael becomes
guilty of discrimination on the basis of national origin".
'Ronaldo' requested this reporter to show him where in
scripture is the proverb, regarding his habit of telling lies and then later
saying he was just joking.
Therefore this per Ronaldo's
request:
Like a madman who throws Firebrands, arrows and death,
So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, "Was I not
joking?"
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