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New England 
Massachusetts Journal

Waltham U.F.O. Shocker! Alien Works at Local Gas Station 

The National Archives
'Ronaldo', the alien now working as a cashier at the George Michael's gas station in Waltham MA. See:
Published: April 28, 2009
WALTHAM ---He disguises himself by rotating his eyes so that they do not slant downwards when he is working as cashier at George Michael's Gulf Station on Main Street in Waltham; but 'Ronaldo' is actually a space alien of the 'Greys' race.
According to NASA investigators, 'Ronaldo' has a habit of telling lies and then later admitting that he was lying, as if the telling of the lie was a joke. The investigators hypthosize that this is his modus operandi for going un-detected in human society.
However, the NASA investigators have this far been unable to take 'Ronaldo' into custody due to orders from President Obama.
"Ronaldo looks like a Puerto Rican", said President Obama. "I like Puerto-ricans because 93% of them voted for me. I will not allow the NASA investigators to take Ronaldo into custody. I believe that the 'don't ask don't tell' policy we have in the military regarding gays, should be applied to Ronaldo. Nobody should ask him if he is actually an alien, and if people ask him if he is an alien, he should not answer them".
Ronaldo's employer George Michael, has been informed by the President's representatives, that if he fires Ronaldo because Ronaldo is an alien, he will be sued for discrimination on the basis of race and national origin.
"It is illegal to discriminate against persons based on where they were born", said President Obama. "Therefore, if George Michael fires Ronaldo because  Ronaldo is an alien, George Michael becomes guilty of discrimination on the basis of national origin".
'Ronaldo' requested this reporter to show him where in scripture is the proverb, regarding his habit of telling lies and then later saying he was just joking.
Therefore this per Ronaldo's request:
Like a madman who throws Firebrands, arrows and death,
So is the man who deceives his neighbor, And says, "Was I not joking?"
-- Proverbs 26:18-19
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